Thursday, September 11, 2008
TODAY!!
Is a normal day..
Just like what you usually do every morning, wake up and brush teeth, bath and get change.. for those who studying will go study.. for those on holidays will stay home enjoy.. for those working will get their ass off their house way early in the morning for morning shift people and get to work.. im one of the morning shift people :(
As usual went to work, stand there and stone.. actually ar.. stone need skill and patient de lorx.. you cant endure the leg suan ar you cannot stone de.. you dont have patient you cant stone de :) that is my theory.. I dont know what is yours :) If not for so many things, i wouldnt work le.. cause this job is way too sian le.. every lunch and dinner i must stood alone at the back alley and eat.. is squat there and eat la.. what a terrible feeling.. hai..
I dont know how long i can hold, its too tired for me to carry on..
I realise time is passing by slowly.. real slow for me.. i went jogging just now.. i think i ran 3km plus? but.. only 20miutes plus passed.. i expected more than half an hour pass, in fact.. its tickling slowly.. why? Tickling slowly to let me suffer this kind of days? standing alone, stoning everyday, eating alone, squatting alone, see people with friends eating with them, thinking of where is my friends.. wanting to eat with them.. having such bad days.. being ignored by her.. being given attitude by people for nothing.. missing her terribly.. what kind of life is this? please.. i dont want this life.. i rather i end it now.. stop giving me all this.. yes.. im weak.. i cant take all this.. just let me die.. end this life of mine.. if not.. change my life to a better one.. please.. I deserve this? or simply its life? every seconds at work is like every year.. the more i talk to you, the more you ignore me, the more you wouldnt want to see me, the more i cry, the deeper the hurt.. dont ignore me le hao ma? what have i done wrong that make you wanting to ignore me? you have your life, go and find new life to accompany you, its your choice.. but.. are you going to go on the streets with a new life and wouldnt even want to regconise the old life you have before? even if he is begging for you to forgive, even he is begging till he is going out of breath? Are you going to just walk away happily with your new life and wouldnt care the old one already? Even a care for friend you wouldnt give to him anymore?
That's my life..
he is alone everyday..
appear nothing much on the outside..
but..
crying everyday on the inside..
for you..
im weak..
im a weakling..
I really dont want all this..
someone please end it for me..
i beg you..
